My decision to live the life in the greatest way possible includes also being free from hate and any kind of revenge.

I refuse to hate anyone not because I am a very kind person. Not at all. I refuse to hate because I have come to see very clearly  how hate would do wrong to my own self.

I have also tried what it tastes to live a life completely free from hate, and I would not choose to come back to my old ways even if I am paid.

Love or hate is only an attitude. We decide, which attitude and to what degree we have in the specific situation.

If you asked me a question what proportion of love and hate we should keep, my answer would be based not only on what I personally feel, but also what I have concluded from many conversations with other people.

If you, for example, loved all of the world and hated only one person, that would be enough to poison your life to a degree that you can’t enjoy it anymore. Hate is a deadly poison, and so are any thoughts of revenge. If you want a life worth living, only 100% love is the number to go.

Because if we hate, let only a little, we are not free. We are chained by one, though small, chain in a place where the tide waters will come. With how many chains would you like to be attached in such a place? Only those who are not attached by any chains will live. So, how many chains? One? Several thousand? Does the number of chains play a role? No, it does not. Those attached with a thousand of chains are equally non-free as those attached by only one.

So for the sake of an enjoyable life for our own selves, we need to drop all hate. Completely. Once and forever.

But is that possible at all? How is it possible not to hate those who killed someone we love? How is it possible not to hate those who keep us in a prison and torture us?

I haven’t, gratefully, experienced any extremes like this. But I can see how useless is hate even then.

The attitude of Richard Wurmbrand, a christian pastor and philosopher, spoke to me very deeply and revealed a gem of wisdom. When suffering from tortures in a prison of communist Romania, he said these words to his jailkeepers: “You can do anything to me. You can torture me or kill me. But there is one thing that you can’t do. You can’t get me to start hating you.”

I see this attitude as the one of a great, freedom loving person. And a very wise attitude that is, too. Because the hate of ours does not harm our enemies the least. It harms only ourselves. Hate can make even worse a situation that is bad enough.

Love supports us, gives us strength to survive when the life is hard. Even in times of extreme hardships and ultimate suffering, love is the power that supports us and maintains life in us. Hate is useless even then, or it is the most useless just then.

Even in the christian Bible, we can find a word of wisdom. “Love your enemies” is a famous quote. But when you google for it, you can see how many people would misunderstand, disagree, doubt if it is at all possible.

But I can’t even imagine a different attitude. My life is too short to hate. I feel that the quality of my life would be impaired if I hated, let even, a single person.

It can seem difficult, but it is not. The other way round is difficult. When our attitude is loving, respectful, then we allow others to carry the burdens that they make for themselves. If not, then, in addition to the pain itself, we lose our integrity. Then the pain gets even harsher.

There is no way how hate or revenge can produce any good outcome. Apart from greater pain, they deliver nothing.

When it comes to terrorists, murderers and killers, they are all people with serious mind disabilities. No use to hate them. Very often, it is just what they want – that you start hating them. But don’t. Always stay with your integrity.

You don’t beat anyone in a wheelchair. The murderers are also people with their minds in “wheelchairs”. They are miserable themselves, so they spread pain and death. They are dangerous, sure they are. But is it of any value to hate them? Is it in any possible way wise to plan a revenge on them? No, it is not.

I have ruled out all hate from my life, and I feel having done myself a great service. I feel much, much, much happier with this attitude.