Drop the Burden
When I started to notice the weird things that we people can carry against each other, I hardly believed it was possible! But it is. We can still carry some resentment or offence from years and even decades ago.
“Why don’t you ever talk to her?” – “Because she said I was fat!” – “When did that happen?” – “Seven years ago.”
Can you imagine carrying something like that all through your lifetime? People do. People often act as if they had several lives to live. People do not give themselves freedom to be happy and to enjoy the life that they have received as a gift.
They keep on the sabotage against themselves. Then they go to doctors, I only wonder for what. Forgive first all the wrongs and then see if you still need the doctor. In most cases, you will be surprised how fast your health will be improving.
Forgiveness As Liberation Of Your Own Self
What does it mean to forgive? Do all of us have the same understanding?
Why do we need to forgive? Can all things be forgiven? What happens if we don’t?
A number of times, I have heard a conversation like this:
– Please forgive me!
– No, I won’t!
And how many more times there is no asking, no answering, only a silent nurture of resentment and hate!
I tried to explore a little on the idea, just to get the right understanding for taking my own stand. Here I want to share with you some things that I discovered, then tested in my own life and now can testify that they bear only the best of fruit. Forgiveness, the full version of it, prepares actually a great ground for good health, sense of joy and happiness.
But when you fail to forgive, well, nothing bad will happen right there. But if you live with that problem for years or even decades, then there is little use to visit doctors, taking diets or pills. Can you wash yourself clean while standing in a puddle of mud? Can you get an illness cured if you only make a doctor to “heal” you while you continue to sabotage your own health?
It is much easier to wash yourself clean when you are out of mud first, is it not? It is much easier to get well again if you cooperate, is it not?
So here you have five good reasons for complete forgiving all of the offences ever done to you by others:
- Forgiveness is moral.
- Forgiveness helps you to feel strong and be proud of yourself.
- Forgiveness is liberating.
- Unforgiving is useless. It is harmful. Failing to forgive does not hurt your enemies – it only corrupts your own life.
- Failing to forgive is counterproductive. It eats up your time and puts you in a miserable state.
Forgiving And Removing Of Guilt
We often hear the advice that we need to forgive, but do we have a clear understanding what that really means? Does that mean that we make then a guilty person free from all the responsibility for the harm they have done?
NO!!!!!
All the responsibility, moral or legal, it continues to exist. You don’t wash the villains clean by forgiving them. Washing themselves clean is and remains their own responsibility.
What Is Forgiveness
At a certain point, I came across this definition of forgiveness, and I can only agree:
Forgiveness is liberation of your own self from obligation to think about any type of abuse or wrongs, from planning and carrying out any type of retaliation.
Forgiveness is a great service that we can do to ourselves. We can’t help being abused or harmed. But we can choose not to allow further damage. Our healing begins with setting ourselves free. And the freedom begins with the moment when we decide to forgive. That means that we refuse to live over and over again what hurt so badly.
What Can And What Can’t Be Forgiven
All things can and must be forgiven. It is even better if we forgive in advance. All past and future sins against us should be forgiven – for our own sake. For the sake of our mental health.
It is easy to live with this approach. You get your freedom. You don’t carry needless burdens, and you now have “returned” those burdens to their actual “owners” – those who have done the wrongs. So they can now carry their own guilt.
It can be tricky at times. It is tempting to believe that, if you don’t forgive, then you keep the villain as if on a “hook”. But that is not the case.
By unforgiving, it is only your own self whom you keep on the “hook”.
Life is given only once to you. You need to hurry to live it. But you can’t if you carry unforgiveness as a heavy burden.
I have tested that. It works very well in my life. I can’t even imagine coming back to my old foolish time when I judged people and did not forgive them. I felt very miserable.
But now the things stand in their natural order. I don’t make myself responsible for wrongdoings of others. I forgive all the things and allow the responsibility go back to those who are responsible as a matter of fact.
By forgiving, you don’t release others. You release yourself.
Failing to forgive is a roadblock. It makes the life difficult. It blocks you from being yourself, your ability to accept yourself. In a longer run, it can even damage your health.
Forgive all and forgive everything. By doing so, you are not taking the guilt out of the guilty person. By doing so you release yourself from further unnecessary suffering.
What Forgiveness Is Not
It may sound like a paradox, but only when you forgive you actually allow the whole of the guilt rest with the guilty person. And now it is their responsibility to deal with that, to apologize, to compensate, to do their due for mitigation of consequences, etc. In other words, do everything that is necessary for making it up.
Before you forgive you carry part of that load on your shoulders. After you forgive, the whole of the burden is on the guilty person.
Forgiveness is not forgetting. You continue to remember, you continue to understand the other person’s reasons for acting like that. You will, perhaps, never again give that person a hug. You will not pretend that nothing happened. You may also continue to share your bad experience with others so to warn them about the risks that a relationship with that person may involve.
You will only stop all the retaliation activities. You will free yourself from the obligation to think about the wrongs. You won’t waste a single more minute of your life thinking about that. You will have – forgiven it.
Freedom
Now you are free from unforgiving. You have removed a huge blocking factor from your life. Gradually, the joy of life will start flowing in your veins again. If you keep on this good work, this good pattern of action, you will soon feel even your health improving.
Forgiving is your freedom. Stand up, make a brave decision and seize it right here and right now!
